What’s Driving You? (Fear vs. Desire)

What's Driving You? (Fear vs Desire) | Kevin BulmerWhat do you feel is driving you most often:

Fear? Or desire?

That sounds like a very simple question, but it’s only now, after all these years of work I’ve been doing to turn around negative thought patterns, tendencies toward anxiety, worry and self judgement that I can really feel that, more often than not, my actions have been driven by fear.

Fear of getting it wrong.

Fear of disappointing people.

Fear of not meeting my “responsibilities.”

Fear of not making enough money, or keeping up with the team (I have worked in commissioned sales a lot and have never liked being compared with others, especially just by numbers).

… lots of fears.

One thing I’ve learned is that chronic fear, if left unresolved, is the enemy of productivity and sustainability. We can only push for so long before fear leads us back to the starting line all over again. It doesn’t scale.

Eventually, fear almost always falls in on itself.

On the other hand, I can also look back, identify and feel good about pockets of time and projects that were fueled by desire.

Just about every time an authentic, inspired desire has pulled me forward, there have still be waves of fear to fight through, but I’ve been able to do it. And the stronger the desire, the less fear seems to be in the way and the better the results.

Also, the stronger the desire, the more it aligns with our values and true essence, the clearer the picture of it is and the more quickly it seems to manifest into my life experience. Not only do positive results fueled by genuine desire show up faster, they sustain and scale in a way that results built on fear never can.

One thing I now understand is that, when I set out on this stage of the journey to explore personal growth and fulfillment, I have always been willing to do the work but have not been quite sure exactly what I’m working toward, or what it is that I want.

It’s a lack of genuine, individual clarity.

Those desires have been coming clearer as I move forward, but it’s coming in bits and pieces. For me, it’s been about continual discovery as opposed to just sitting down and deciding.

I see now that it’s likely because, for 40 years+, I have operated mostly out of fear. And I have been my own harshest critic. And that’s okay. I’m glad I’m aware of that now.

It’s taking time, a long time. But it is coming clearer. I am learning how to let myself desire the things I want… and to set myself free to believe I can have them.

What about you? What produces thought and action more of the time? Fear? Or desire?

Which would you choose for yourself?

It’s a simple question, huh?

But it’s a powerful one.


Kevin BulmerKevin Bulmer is the founder of No Schedule Man Brand Media and producer and host of the momondays London inspirational event series.

As a dynamic, down-to-earth and highly engaging professional speaker, it’s Kevin’s intention to uplift through a shared example of continual growth. He has a gift for helping people see themselves from a fresh perspective on matters related to mindset and effective marketing messaging. In both cases, it pretty much comes down to just being true to yourself … a principle which is fundamentally simple, but not necessarily easy to do.

To stay in touch with Kevin on a day-to-day basis, join his online personal growth support community, “The Turtle Tribe.” Membership is free for Kevin’s active email subscribers.

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